Garner Haines, Screenwriter

 

TELEVISION - SPEC SCRIPTS

Corner Gas - Violation*

Oscar decides to fight a minor traffic ticket no matter what the cost. Hank sees a UFO and tries to convince the citizens of Dog River that aliens are coming.

* Winner of the 2008 Wildsound Spec TV Scriptwriting Competition!

Robot Chicken - Squeal Burp Zone

Dora and Boots go to Mount Doom.

Toopy & Binoo - The Land of Lost Things

Toopy goes off in search of a missing crayon and discovers where all the lost things go.

Atomic Betty - The Flutastic Voyage

A supervirus created by Maximus IQ threatens Admiral DuGill's life, and the rest of the Galactic Guardians, unless Betty can stop it, personally.

Wizards of Waverly Place - I Will Love You Forever

A package arrives inviting all by their true loves to a special Valentine's Day Ball, one that will last forever, if they're not careful.

 

TELEVISION - ORIGINAL PILOTS

The Time is Right

A reality game show in the near future, where contestants get to go back in time and save a loved one.

RoboBro

A young man, desperate for attention from his workaholic parents, instead gets a new brother, one they made themselves.

 

FEATURE FILM

Heroes in Hard Times

Action / Thriller / Drama

A paramedic discovers she can see into the future and becomes a reluctant superhero.

Leslie and Guy

Comedy / Drama

A lesbian female and straight male, both recovering from painful breakups, share their apartment and girlfriend.

The Knight in Question

Adventure / Fantasy / Comedy

A dim-witted eager knight and his stalwart companions accidentally save England from the plot of an evil wizard to start a war using dragons.

The Morning After the Knight Before

Adventure / Fantasy / Comedy

A dim-witted eager knight and his stalwart companions accidentally avert an apocalypse.

What is This Thing Called Love?

Science Fiction / Romantic Comedy

An alien comes to Earth to study love in the guise of a human woman and falls in love with an Earthman.

Blood Relations

Fantasy / Horror / Comedy / Drama

After an adopted teen discovers he's a werewolf, he seeks out his birth family, who force him to chose between the human world and the lycanthrope's.

 

SHORTS

She, Robot

A robotics engineer falls in love with his own creation.

Rapid Transition

A young couple fall in and out of love on the subway. Each stage of their relationship is seen as a series of rides.

The Price

A child could save the world, but at the cost of her life. Her father must decide to save her or save the world.

 

WEB CONTENT

Hockey Strike   *Voted #6 in Podcast Salad's Top 10 video podcasts!

Zombie Night in Canada

P.I.G.S.

Three's Too Many

The Seventh Set

Pizza Dragon

The Production

Reality Check

Just Ice

Spies Unlike Us

The X-Flies

Time Out     ** Also broadcast on G4 Tech TV Canada's show Torrent

Eclipse

The 44

Shrinkage

Revenge of the Clones

Flashback to the Future

Cat Scan

Beauty and the Geeks

Geek Hard

A Geek Too Far

The DaVinci Comic

Alignment Check

Terror Error

Infinite Crisis Management

Last Call

 

Galacticast

Node 666 segment, "Apocalypse, Eh?"

RADIO

Post Modern: A Science Fiction Comedy of Near-Epic Proportions

First broadcast on CFRU-FM 93.3 in Guelph, February 1994. Captain John Smith and his band of misfits, try to deliver the mail sort of on time in outer space. Co-written with Mike Porter.

Post Modern 2: A New Joke

A sequel, spoof of Star Wars. The crew gets taken aboard the phone company's Dread Star. Complications ensue.

Post Modern 5: The Trigonometry of Shadow Puppets

The crew gets assigned a tour of duty at the Gateway 5 postal sorting station. Parody of Babylon 5.

Post Modern: WTF?

The postal system is in disarray after a letter bomb goes off. Someone has replaced key postal workers with clones. Nobody noticed, and nobody knows who they can trust. Parody of Battlestar Galactica.

FIREFLY: Strange Bedfellows (4 episodes)

In pre-production for audio podcast.

 

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